That’s right, folks, the Rotterdam Fashion police are here and ready to point the finger. On this panel I have with me some illustrious and discerning guests! We have with us;
Blythe Lawrence of The Gymnastics Examiner
Mez of The Australian Gymnastics Blog
Spanny Tampson of Spanny’s Big Fake Smile
and, of course, moi, The Couch Gymnast!
Okay, let’s get down to business! First up;
Alicia Sacramone- USA
Mez: It appears that the squiggles actually started on the OTHER side of the leotard body but they took one look at Alicia’s game face and are all now fearfully trying to wriggle away
Blythe: Sporty and stylish, this leotard seemed to embody the American attitude at this meet.
Spanny: I like to refer this little number as the Hand Leo. It looks like a hand. Well, in live action it does. It looks like a big glittery palm is wrapped around the girls. That said, I kind of like it. I enjoy the simple style and the minimal bedazzling. Also, 40 billion bonus points for not using pepto pink.
The Couch Gymnast: I like. It neither makes me cringe or go ‘meh’ -and I usually go down one of those roads with US Team leotards. And I do think they should always wear red. I did kind of like the white era- though that look will be forever nineties now. I like this one because it’s a bit stylish while still being sportswear. A leotard that makes sense in this crazy world of retina-burning lycra horrors. (BTW this is the expression of Alicia’s I like to call ‘The Raging Bull’. Seriously- it is as if the vault is one of those annoying red tea towels and Mihai is flapping it at her down there).
Vasiliki Millousi- Greece
Mez: Well, they DID say the costumes in the “Tron” remake were going to be a little different this time around…
Blythe: One of gymnastics’s classics. Simple and elegant, this is the type of leotard that looks good on everyone, but especially taller, longer types.
Spanny: I’m not going to lie, the first thing I noticed here was the WRIST, and not the leotard. Beyond that, the leo is very Florida-esque. And, ermm, and smidge high cut. The blue is a bit acidic for my tastes. And so very shiny. I’m weird about this, but I would also take like three inches off of the arm length. Such long arms remind me of skinny jeans, which incidentally, I am also not a fan of.
The Couch Gymnast: This is my favorite style of leo. Two colours, divided by a bodice style cut. Simple yet classic. Think Sandra Izbasa in the Beijing worlds finals- or the Russians around 2008-9 with that aqua and white combo. And maybe Spanny wouldn’t think of this one as shiny if she had seen a South African gymnast wearing a leo SO shiny she could wipe off the chalk dust with a tissue like she was sponging down the kitchen sink at home. This, my friend, is tame in comparison. I vote yes, but like Spanny says- this is another example of where the leg cut of leos are getting Baywatch high. Not cool, peeps.
Deng Linlin- China
Mez: Li Ning shifts nervously in his seat as he realises Hello Kitty is closing in fast on the sportswear market.
Blythe: This leotard really worked for China. The black wavy line down the front tied the design together wonderfully. It’s nice to see them in something other than their standard red and yellow.
Spanny: Oh dear. I remember first seeing this leotard in EF. My eyes hurt. Additionally, I started missing the Pepto Pink. This whole number reminded me of The Max from Saved by the Bell. So very pink.
The Couch Gymnast: Whimper. That’s what I did when I saw it.
Mexico- Team Podium Training
Mez: Elsa: “Our leotard sleeves got lost through Customs!”
Blythe: My favorite leotard from podium training. An eye catching and refreshing combination with a fun touch of originality at the shoulder. Superb!
Spanny: Very nice, for a WORKOUT leo. Not a competition leo. I am SO not a fan of short sleeves for competition. Like, this is the big show. Act like you care even a tiny bit. So I’m going to pretend it’s a workout leo, in which case, I love it. Love the asymmetrical neckline. Minimal sparkles, nice bold lines. This also proves there are more ways to add additional color without resorting to random swirlies all over the place.
The Couch Gymnast: Spanny is going to be real happy when she finds out this was the podium training Leo. I am with Blythe- I love it. And this is something from a blogger who has been on a warpath against sleeveless since time immemorial. Love the colour. Love the non-insane detail. Love the team wearing it! Win! Win! Win!
Vanessa Ferrari- Italy
Mez: The stripes leading to the shoulders remind me of the early stages of Sailor Moon’s costume transformation. Wonder is Vanessa has a secret superhero identity she’s not telling us about…?
Blythe: Let me preface this by saying that I love Italy — its art, its cuisine, its stylish gymnastics. But I did not love this leotard. Poor Vanessa looks like she’s being attacked by a large brown spider. It would have been better if the stripes radiating out from the Italian emblem on the chest had been a different color — silver or red, perhaps.
Spanny: Just No. No no no. From the bra straps to the cut out in the middle. The random salmon colour ribbon. The upside down gold V thing is weird too. I don’t get any of this. It kind of looks like an angry cat.
The Couch Gymnast: I didn’t think it was possible to dislike this more- then Spanny described that shade of ribbon as salmon. And I like how it takes spiders, cats and migrating fish- an entire menagerie- to furnish our description of it!